Practicing what you want to say can also clarify your feelings and enhance your communication. Techniques like the DEAR MAN from dialectical behavior therapy can guide the conversation to ensure it’s constructive and focused on mutual understanding without blame. Ultimately, the goal is living amends meaning to create a safe space for both you and the other person where feelings can be expressed honestly.
- These promises are often the most difficult to keep because addiction plays a decisive role in a person’s ability to live up to their promises.
- This ongoing nature of making amends can lead to self-healing by alleviating the stress tied to previous behaviors, potentially averting relapse.
- The response to amends can vary widely; some may refuse to engage, leaving the individual feeling disheartened.
- Make a list of everyone you’ve made promises to that you didn’t fulfill, the people you’ve lied to, stolen from, or hurt in any way because of who you used to be, and apologize sincerely.
- Step 9 centers on forgiveness and restoration, confronting past actions directly rather than avoiding them.
- This step is about taking full responsibility without blaming others or making excuses.
Living vs. Direct Amends at a Glance
When someone struggles with addiction, they are not the only ones affected. Individuals battling substance abuse can become different versions of themselves and make decisions or behave in ways that hurt their loved ones. Addiction is often isolating, which can make quitting difficult. With proper treatment, individuals can become sober and turn their lives around. In a sober living house, members can transition out of treatment and adjust to their new substance-free lifestyle.
What is sober sleep?
More than an apology, it’s about making genuine amends—taking action to correct past mistakes without causing harm. Here, we explore Step 9, its goals, possible outcomes, and effective language for making amends. It’s much easier to just apologize and move on, but committing to living your life differently looks different. Making these types of life improvements typically requires that you work with a counselor or therapist who can provide an outsider’s perspective and objective view of your life. Making these types of life changes is difficult and requires lots of hard, emotionally-complex work, but it’s worth all the effort in the end.
How Making Amends Supports Relapse Prevention
- In the event of a medical emergency, call a doctor or 911 immediately.
- Leach is said to have gathered information for the book by asking for input from many AA members who had long-term sobriety.
- This step emphasizes making direct amends wherever possible, acknowledging harm caused and taking actions to rectify mistakes.
- David Kessler discusses a living amends in his latest book, Finding Meaning.
There may be an opportunity to cultivate a new and better family bond that will only grow in depth and reach. Making amends transcends mere words; it’s an embodiment of actual change in behavior. Rather than simply saying “I’m sorry,” embracing ‘living amends’ involves making consistent, long-term changes to demonstrate commitment to positive growth. Showing responsibility through actions can validate the feelings of those hurt and help rebuild trust. Step 8 in the 12-Step program involves making a list of all persons we have harmed and becoming willing to make amends to them. This step is vital for personal growth and healing during the recovery process, as it encourages individuals to recognize the impact of their actions on others.
Aligning words with actions
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How to Start Step 9
In these instances, the best thing you can do is to focus on your behavior and remain faithful to your commitment to live an honest, sober life. For some people, being sober may mean not experiencing any measurable effects of drugs or alcohol. To others, it could mean more than just avoiding using recreational or prescription drugs or drinking alcohol, but achieving good mental health. Making amends goes far beyond just saying “I’m sorry.” It’s about taking responsibility for your actions and actively trying to repair the damage done.
Providing alternative ways to make amends without verbal apology
Making amends in recovery is about more than just righting wrongs—it’s about building a better version of yourself. It’s a courageous step that strengthens your recovery, heals relationships, and brings peace of mind.If you’re on this journey, know that it’s okay to ask for help. Whether you’re navigating a 12-Step program or another form of recovery, support from counselors, peers, or mentors can make all the difference.
The concept of making amends is rooted in biblical teachings of forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration. Amends can be seen as a way to demonstrate repentance, seek forgiveness from God and others, and strive for healing and reconciliation. Have you ever wondered how to repair broken relationships or reconcile with those we have wronged? In this blog post, we will explore what the Bible has to say about making amends and discover the transformative power it can have in our lives. By delving into the wisdom and guidance found in Scripture, we can learn valuable lessons on forgiveness, restoration, and the healing that comes from seeking reconciliation.
After all, years of drug or alcohol abuse will not be undone with an apology or a few simple words. We need to prove to our children that we are seriously addressing our addiction, not just offering cheap words. In many cases, making direct amends to them is simply not possible. Additionally, empathizing with the other person’s feelings can show that you genuinely care about their experience.
Recognizing those harmed by addiction
So, join us as we uncover the biblical principles that can bring about positive change and foster healthy relationships. To make direct amends to such people, it’s important to approach them sincerely and acknowledge the damage done. You should express your regret for past behaviors and be willing to accept their feelings, understanding that you cannot control how they respond. As a recovering addict, when you engage in the living amends process—even imperfectly—you and your loved ones will notice and appreciate this effort.